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User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Rap Battles of Fiction Season 4 Episode 5 - Buffy Summers vs Ash Williams
Welcome to yet another of my battles, as I seek to prove to you that me writing rap battles are still relevant on this wiki. I realise that made no sense. I am tired. Fuck off. Wait, no. Read the battle, vote on the poll, and then fuck off. In this battle we have me touching on horror again. Woooo. It will suck as a result. We get Buffy Summers, the renowned vampire slayer, versus Ash Williams, who fights the Evil Dead, to see who the better fighter of the unnantural, undead, or just general monsters is. Thanks as always go to the glorious people that helped this production. Grav and Sicmagna helped with production. Buffy Summers is denoted with this text, Ash Williams by this text. Cameo apparance by Xander are in this text, by Willow are in this text, and by Andrew are in this text. Buffy Soup’s up, Bruce, get both your dukes up or lose one Fit right in one of my massacres, so let’s get up and do one Mangled monster, time traveller, moronic plots you overuse A franchise that should have ended before movie number two Hanging and dying with guys that your sister was banging I’m busy off saving the world with Alyson Hannigan Buffest girl, a femme fatale fighting for feminism and freedom Have faith in me to defeat a queendom of demons Spitting burns to leave a redneck’s neck red in perfect time Let me teach this: better shop S-Mart for smarter lines I bring the cheer and the fear to any who hope to bash me Go home to your warren, they’d be scared of Ashy getting slashy Ash The dead might be deadites, but my scorch may be hotter than they can handle Then turn it on you so that Daphne can have ashes to place on her mantle Because your Scooby Doo crew couldn't get any ruder Shoulda stayed silent like Jason, or end up looking like Krueger This here’s a discontent Summers, and I’m here to return her groove quick Darling, don't play the angel deception, we all know you want the boomstick You’ll be straight hailing the king when I’m finished with your tight, white ass Have to put fighting the supernatural on hold if you’re held back after class Your viewings Spiked every time that you got naughty or saucy They don’t watch you for your action, just for how you move your body Trained killer, vigilante, but still needed a Watcher when she fell Inevitable return; the fire I spit makes my mouth hell Buffy Your whole film series had, like, two whole scares I don’t like him. I didn’t ask your angle, Xander! Who cares? Hanging out with kids, this loser got no game! I owe you pain! Damnit, Willow, looks like I’ll have to save the world… again Ash Your kooky team of loonies is hardly spooky! Groovy! Your plots so unoriginal that you reduxed your own movie A show about Edward or Jacob, with angst, it’s uber casual Your shit looks like Gossip Girl hooked up with Supernatural Buffy You’re a slasher, I’m a Slayer, and a player when it comes to Dealing with half baked anti heroes who aren’t cooked through I’ve seen scarier courses served up with chianti and fava Estranged yourself from good lyrics as well as your father A bite off MacGyver thinks he can save the world with garbage Should reanimate his third movie to save that car crash carcass My show’s progressive, whilst yours takes yourself back to basics Dark ages plotlines tell the story of homophobes and racists I’m at the basis of the horror genre, star of an untoppable serial Your tasteless killings left you less great than any frosted cereal Your slow one liners make up the baddest verse I’ve ever heard Only Andrew is worse! Come on, Buffy, I’m not a nerd! Ash The peppiest preppy, popular girl befriended the two weirdos in any event A cliche high school story with monsters thrown in for the special effects You took a stab at romance, but found the stakes weren’t to his taste So, like cookie dough, it all got thrown back in your face Give me sugar, sweeter lyrics from this bitter twisted sitter of a sister A blister with no mister because no man or vamp has ever missed her Necronomi-come on! I’m trying to stop the Evil Dead from being born You’re a one dimensional bimbo, ended up more hated than Dawn! I’m a dark and musky anti-hero, the only one that raises Living lyrics quicker than I bust out one of my catchphrases You sparked a world ending scenario because your bae became smothered Remember that, hero, when I say that my flow was iller than your mother Who Won? Buffy Summers Ash Williams Category:Blog posts